even a broken bisexual is gay twice a day

I hope it happens again

baggies are perfect for holding cocaine

RIP Sigmund Freud you would have loved my first wordle guesses

Vermillion is bugs

people just don’t carry around globes anymore like they used to

rip Kim jong-il you would have loved ai videos #everythingsunnyallthetimealways

I like songs

i bet being harped feels fucking amazing. lucky fuckin harps

This is definitely my circus, but I don’t recognize any of these monkeys.

and the notches on his banana numbered one and ninety eight more one and ninety eight more

Weener should be spelled with three e’s

You’re in his dms, I’m in his dms at the bar and my phone is on 3%

When it comes to the whites hard R is tradition, soft R is cultural appropriation.

Big fan of 23 & me (me drinking a dr. pepper)

mixologist working at a craft cocktail bar pushing a penny farthing ice cart

This economy sucks I work full time and I can barely afford groceries and to do coke every day

For sale, stripper shoes, never worn.

wait are seriously none of y’all using the little pocket on the front of your underwears

Cocaine got me licking places I wouldn’t go with a sponge.