My 2nd grader looks at this and goes, “That picture is literally impossible.” And he’s right.

Told my students I’m turning a square number later this month and let’s just say I have regrets. #iteachmath

I had a student ask me to clarify, and I'm stuck asking the same question. Why do we put parentheses in to square b? Why is it not -200? #iTeachMath

Thoughts of an 8 year old: “Dad, if school years were feet, half a school year would be a single, a full year would be a double, and two years would be a home run.” #tmwyk #iteachmath

My wife said the most beautiful thing to me tonight: “We can stop pretending we eat kale.”

Whenever I tear off too short a piece of tin foil for leftovers I feel like a failure of a math teacher.

I have some regrets on how I responded to this Name Tent. #ITeachMath

Today I asked a question I ask many times every year and receive crickets, nos, or groans. “Do you wanna see something cool?!” I usually have to answer in a child’s voice “yes!” but today THEY answered yes so I didn’t have to! And then I showed them how cool a proportion is!

Nailed it.

Everytime I get mad at my sports team for losing, I remind myself of what Giannis said. Arguably my favourite response to a reporter ever.

They understood the assignment.

When am I ever gonna see parallel lines cut by a transversal, anyway?

Been offering erasers so I can say cap or no cap. What gets you through the day? #iteachmath

A student is looking to play a game once their work is finished. What math-based website are you recommending? #iteachmath #MTBoS

Have you ever called out a student for eating Goldfish with a fork?

This Math isn’t Mathing.

“Dad, there’s a things kids say at school; They say, ‘Are you smart? Then spell it.’ But we changed it to either you have to spell ‘It’ or ‘smart,’ but I changed it to spell ‘tercentenery.’”

But where do all the pencils go?!