You got any coffee?

Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me.

I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior.

Who doesn't have instant coffee?

You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there

Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America.

This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld.

Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? Y'ever have a man die in your arms? Y'ever kill somebody?

Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world

Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over.

You're a comedian, you make people laugh.

This is your final warning. Got that, kewpie-doll?

Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again.