Akon 2006 "I wanna fuck you" .. Akon 2008 "I wanna make love right now na na na"... Akon 2010 "I just had sex!"... Poor guy waited 4 years!

A man died in Nigeria when his 5 wives, jealous of each other, raped him on knife point.

David Patient, has been living with HIV for 30 years now #survivor #positiveMindBeatsAll

"What The F*** Facts: Mozart, famous music composer of the 18th century composed a song titled "Lick Me in the Ass"."Ancient Akon

"Fun: "Scrubs" has actually been described as the most medically-accurate television show on air." #ohFuck

Like a lost fart in a bubble bath

"What The F*** Facts: It only costs Apple $168 to build an iPhone 5 16 GB -- The retail price in the market is $699." @realTravyD

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: No one helps you once you're fucked.

Cell phones have completely ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.

7th year at #oxbraai, let the vetrons keep on rolling! Won't stop till 10

"Autocorrects: Today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you will ever be." #oxbraai give it all the youth you've got

Everything is made in China. Except babies, they're made in VaChina.

The African tribe of Wodaabe has a mating season in which everyone including married couples are allowed to have sex with anyone they want.

"Fun: You are eight times more likely to be killed by a cop than a terrorist." SA beware, we weren't even considered for this statistic

" In a 1930s Mickey Mouse comic, Minnie cheated on Mickey with another mouse -- Mickey tried to kill himself by jumping off a bridge." #fml

"Autocorrects: I got 99 chores & I ain't did one. -Lay Z" Gabriela Fraser

"Autocorrects: I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster." @realTravyD #futurereference

I don't consider them as one night stands, they're auditions.

"Jess Dormehl: One tree hill #itnevergetsols" not again

Please help us with tickets kfm #kfmRihanna #CT