They should make young Sheldon die

I deserve a beautiful lunch. A ham sandwich on a crusty roll with hot pepper jam, provolone and arugula. And I want it to cost $18

doing dishes and had the thought “the sink helps you with water”. such a hauntingly dimwitted sentence to produce that im actually a bit frightened now. there’s no way the brain that produced that thought is capable of making something of my life. time will tell

To me, all snowmen are abominable. Man's image is sacred

This is - genuinely - all I need to see. The Green Party is the only major party telling the truth that THE MONEY IS THERE to fix what ails the UK. I am enraged by anyone pretending otherwise. greenparty.org.uk

“You believe this? Flying babies.”

Just voted for the independent candidate in Islington North. I heard he’s alright.

Computer. Voodoo Ranger Juice Force IPA. Hot.

the simpsons predicted bart and lisa

hey dude my buddy just decreed a stately pleasure dome. thinking of hitting it up. in xanadu yeah

(hanging out with my buddy scrooge while he goes off about christmas) haha dude. you are such a grinch

Backflips

bro just acknowledge your malfeasance and we can move on..

Me and the boys are gonna intubate each other later if you wanna come thru

keep honking... i'm clonking!

(Loudly, to entire party) A tube has never delighted me (Remembering the fish tube which launched fish through the air at previously unseen speeds) I have to go now my friend is sick