Kids at my school: I like to smoke weed and get high. Me: sometimes when it's cold, i like to breathe really heavy and pretend I'm a dragon

For every bad idea you have, I'm always there to tell you...I'm in.

me: *sneezes* everyone: someone else:*sneezes* teacher: bless you everyone: bless you class hamster: bless you obama: bless you

\(• •) ) )z / \ I'm f**king fabulous

Which ones should I get sydney #toms

Regans new car

That awkward moment when your walking past a parked car and you stop and look at yourself in the window, and theres still people in the car.