Matt Coleman (@mctallmatt) 's Twitter Profile
Matt Coleman

@mctallmatt

Why did the soldier flush the toilet? Because it was his DUTY! Get it? Get it? Dad humor + toddler jokes.

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calendar_today31-08-2011 10:57:31

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My dudes crushing their first MrBeast Burger while we’re hanging out in Washington DC. He’s one of their favorite YouTube creators so they’re pumped!!

My dudes crushing their first <a href="/MrBeastBurger/">MrBeast Burger</a> while we’re hanging out in Washington DC. He’s one of their favorite YouTube creators so they’re pumped!!
Matt Coleman (@mctallmatt) 's Twitter Profile Photo

That time your assistant coach calls out a "favorite player" at the first team meeting only to reveal its because he coached her mom!

Matt Coleman (@mctallmatt) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Morning responsibilities: Wake up✅ Shower✅ Wake up/dress/feed/water (juice) child✅ Let out dogs✅ Get child outside before bus❌

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Me with broken garage door: "please no precipitation, I can't deal" Me with a new garage door: ♫"let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"♫

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There was a time I could play a double header, get drinks, and crush work the next day. Now I finish playing, cover myself in ice, pop ibuprofen and hope I can walk tomorrow morning. #aging #Old #adulting

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Please provide feedback: assume Justin Timberlake, Paul Rudd, and yourself. Who is your fourth for golf, Jimmy Fallon or John Daly?

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P.S. there are few things more enjoyable than making other people listen to shitty music in a bar. #thanksjukebox #igotadollar