What happened to the roly polys??

do what now?

If sleep is for the weak then I am the weakest

We are in space. There is no such thing as outer space. We are in it.

Maybe you think you will never find someone new. You probably will.

Generally, I feel safe. But I’m a poem, not a Black person.

convenient john mulaney is nowhere to be found at this time...

I Dont Know How They Found Us But They Did However I’m Not Quite Sure Exactly How They Did That.

Don’t say “story time” on your Tik Tok. Just start the damn story! Tweet time.

chilling with me on the couch #HolidayWithPikmin

“Hello? Kitty! It’s been 20 years!”

Getting rid of my lawn in an effort to minimize water usage. But also, lawns are terrible! What do we even need them for? Your dog can pee on lots of things that aren’t grass!

Neurotypical conversations have always felt like a string of cliches & cyclical nonsense. Like it’s all some kind of listless ritual devoid of any type of meaning, or relevant information. And everybody knows the ritual except me. But if you wanna talk about Klingons, I’m in!

“We must stop eating!” cried Toad as he ate another.