Yesterday I had no idea who Andrew Tate was. This morning I learned he had a Twitter beef with Greta. This afternoon I learned he was a boxer. This evening I learned he was arrested for child trafficking. This was a 5 season AMC Drama that happened in the span of 12 hours.

Some people: We need to protect children from the LGBTQ who want to groom and traffic them! Those same people today: Omg RIP Pope Benedict.

For about 4 years, I Irish goodbye’d during the countdown. Guess how many cabs are available at 11:59 on NYE? All of them. I’d be halfway home before I started getting the “??” messages. It was my favourite prank that wasn’t a prank at all.

*Me playing the new God of War* Kratos: War is not the answer. Me: Kind of paid for a game called God of War so it goddamn better be.

transphobes love to be like ‘you can’t transition because your life will become too difficult due to the way i am going to treat you’

Coffee seems like a wish somebody made on a cursed monkey paw. Like Here is a cup of liquid that makes you feel awake and great. BUT When you get it, it will be so hot that no human being could reasonably drink it.

ICYMI, we're launching a bi-weekly Simpsons podcast in March over on Patreon. And ye olde Hall of Famer Mark McCue has agreed to be my co-host. It's gonna be sweeter than a cool glass of turnip juice.

Happy Valentines day. To all the single people, just know that God has abandoned you because of that bad thing you did when you were 6.

Remember pantomimes ? The first shows British kids ever saw... The principal boy was a girl, and the principal girl's mother was always a fellow Pantomimes were happy, good-natured romps They harmed no-one Except, perhaps, people wuth absolutely no sense of fun or humour

Episode 1 of Purple Monkey Dishwasher, our new Simpsons podcast hosted by Adam 'Mr. Blank' Blank and Mark 'Kid Moe' McCue (Hall of Famer Mark McCue) goes live tomorrow morning for all our Patreons! Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I enjoy a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.

I hope Danny Devito is having the best International Women's Day.

It’s time. Hall of Famer Mark McCue & I are FINALLY talking #BanjoTooie. We both loved #BanjoKazooie. This one tries to go bigger, for better AND worse. Find ‘Remember The Game?’ wherever you get podcasts!👀 RememberTheGamePodcast.com👈 #retrogaming #retrogames #nintendo64 #n64

Fox News be like: "Queer people are all pedophiles and every politician we don't like was best friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Coming up in the next hour, we interview Alan Dershowitz about the Trump indictment..."

I hope Judge Judy oversees his case.

My least favourite thing about Succession is that nobody tells Roman that he looks exactly like the kid who played Fuller in Home Alone. So like, does Home Alone just not exist in this universe? Zero stars.

Everybody who died on the Titanic would have been dead by now anyways, so it's not really that sad anymore.

Sometimes, when people say that their reputation has been destroyed, I think they mean that their old false reputation has been destroyed and has been replaced by a new and more factually accurate one

I'm really sad to hear that Pat Robertson died today and not decades ago.

My Facebook has been hacked. Please do not respond to any messages you get from me.

I don't understand why there are always empty slurpee cups in the garbage can directly outside 7/11. How does this happen? Like Are you Motherfuckers just power chugging that extra large froster in the short trip from the cashier to the door?