YEAH SEE ALL YOU LITTLE YOUNG FUCKERS HAVE *NO IDEA*. KEANU REEVES WAS A FUCKING JOKE FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS UNTIL SUDDENLY EVERYONE DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO START SUCKING HIS FUCKING DICK. IT WAS THE GREATEST TURNAROUND SINCE THE DEFEAT OF THE SPANISH ARMADA

Y’all may not realise this, but I used to be a rainbow. Happy Pride! 🌈

😬😬😬😬😬😬

The funniest part of this is that it was important to Trump that Joan Rivers have voted for him.

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

"Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you." bit.ly/3e7WpMu

Rachel Maddow just now saying, “Trump’s performance at the NABJ was almost as bad as Patton Oswalt at the Lodi Cask ‘n’ Cleaver in 1993…” felt really harsh.

Oh God I hope this doesn’t make Joe Biden drop out of the race.

Why is everyone dunking on JD Vance for his stellar photo op at the donut shop? He completed my 6 week “Connect With The Crowd” Comedy Workshop and I think he did great.

That’s our son Kegg and we love him.

De Blasio: ‘Well, Well, Well, Not So Easy To Find A Mayor That Doesn’t Suck Shit, Huh?’ bit.ly/4ejo5M9

No idea how to go forward, but at least I have Pixies albums to listen to until I figure it out.

Frankly, I am shaken by the size of Trump’s win. Clearly, we are in a very difficult period as a country. But even as we lick our wounds, we can’t give up the fight. So much of Trump’s agenda is dangerous and must be resisted. We owe it to ourselves and our democracy.

Oh buddy you’re not "our greatest fear"….you’re just a straight up racist and an asshole

To all of you deluded fuckers who are crying because Presidents Clinton, Bush, and Obama aren't attending traitor trump's stupid inaugural lunch: They don't owe him shit. He's a convicted felon. He incited an insurrection. He didn't assist in a peaceful transfer and he refused

“Radical ideology” = literally the teachings of Jesus, verbatim

Why the fuck do I still have this thing?

Oh my god. OH MY GOD EVERYONE. Susan Collins is “concerned.” Strap in, things are about to get serious.

Of all the motherfuckers, Elon Musk is the motherfuckerest. Dude needs to calm his tits FR. And stop pretending he's good a fucking video games. The shit he does would be cringe if he was 12 but he's a full-ass fucking adult.

Of all the muthafuckas...