I haven’t seen anyone get so worked up about a picture on the wall since Farrah Faucet’s poster came out. Dr. Oz has a big crush on Trump.

Anyone else remember how Michael Jackson would show up late for court? Didn't we discover later that his team was trying to get him to wake up from Propofol? Trump's late.

The big announcement? Huntsville, AL will now be named Rocket City. And the cafeteria at Trump University will now be a Party City.

REPORTER: Would you consider sending National Guards to schools? TRUMP: You can do things construction-wise. No one knows construction more than me. I don't think so. We have great teachers that love our children.

If you live in Colorado Springs, CO, you don't want to move to Huntsville, AL. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

"It's making mistake after mistake after mistake, and it's being willing to say what you have to say even when no one is listening, absolutely no one, because if you say it clearly and humbly and truly enough, even if it takes you all your life, they will."

Her expression is all of us right now. WTH?

Keeping toddlers occupied at the table while you wait for your food is tricky, and that's why I let them play Candy Crush. -Senator Dave McCormick

Reader, they booed him. He’ll punish them by making them sit in their seats until he’s in the air, but he’ll go to sleep with those boos ringing in his droopy ears. Boooo…

Parents of College Kids, How often do you text or call your kids?

I guess I'm getting old. Other than Cory Feldman, Ariana Grande, and Ozzy Osborne, I don't recognize anyone in the #VMAs or #DancingWiththeStars ads. Sorry, guys. Find a cooler page to follow. Miss you, Sinead O'Connor. Always watched when you are on. I'm OLD.

If you use the r-word, I will block you.

Shooting someone doesn't make you right, you effing bonehead. STOP IT, AMERICA.

Our poor kids. What are we doing to them?

Oh, Elmo. We love you.

The real reason they’re cancelling Jimmy Kimmel? Trump is slipping. And nobody can make fun of him like Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Acyn COMMUNITY NOTE: Kimmel was fired because ABC wanted to impress the FCC. Kimmel is funny, his ratings were strong, and he'll be back, somewhere, stronger than ever. If you can't handle comedians, don't be President.

Is literary hoarding a thing? I can’t delete old versions of chapters, chapters with nites from readers, anything. My laptop is cluttered, and I can’t focus.

It’s still a big deal.