My siblings and I went out to dinner with my dad and we started talking about dad jokes we liked. All of a sudden my dad goes “I’ve only made 3 dad jokes my entire life and they’re all sitting in front of me right now

lol

annual reread of all the texts my bf has sent me over the years after i successfully flew on a plane by myself (deathly afraid of flying)

It'd be an innocent meeting between friends if they were polar bears

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Get a Golden they said

I laughed way too hard at some of them 😂

She doesn't know about the new sign; she just senses that things have gotten better

Finding out they’re birds makes this 100000x better 🦜 🥷 🙌🏼

it is now Q2 of the 21st century

He’ll be telling his friends about this forever 😂❤️

Rare good news in 2026: green sea turtles and giant pandas are NO LONGER ENDANGERED.

Dorothy: I miss Kansas. Toto: I miss the rains down in Africa.

I thought I heard someone say 'hello' in Arabic but it was a false salaam.

A lot of African parents see their children as investments that must yield returns, rather than as human beings with emotions and autonomy.

Magneto about the X-Men

Sorry I can’t come my clothes look stupid on me

The bear necessities