Wife: So, I really need you to help out this week, because I’m super busy at work. Me: Mmm hmmm Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: *thinking about opening a restaurant for cats* You need me to buy super glue and a wok. Got it.

We're all kinda a bit fucked up here. How about we all look out for each other. Deal?

started not to give a fuck & stopped fearing the consequence

#MerryChristmas2018

#The80sIn5Words back then had no responsibilities!

#The80sIn5Words cassette tapes and Sunday charts

You know you’re an adult when you’ve injured yourself sleeping

I feel the older I get the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Confucius say… Retweet some bullshit and get 30 years good luck.

Big Boys don't cry is one of the most dangerous messages we've been fed. Doing the stuff in schools has had a profound effect on us. The amount of kids radicalised by the Andrew T bullsh*t is very real and scary! As if kids didn't have enough on their plates trying to

No doubt about that!

#renamebrexit If we talk about it long enough maybe everyone will forget it

Just think, Someone comes to you, opens buttons of your shirt, stares at you from top to bottom and then leaves. That's how fridges feel.

#PutShoesOnAMovie The night of the Hunter wellies

Because we know what we are talking about. x.com/dleeson7/statu…

Imagine being so predictable that you do dry January and start going to the gym

When you can't find your #vape