I really wanted to write something about it for this autism awareness month, but now I'm too busy dealing with the fallout of all the above, both as a result of the pandemic and longterm autistic burnout, to put together a pitch or an article.

Symphony🌹🍉 Victoria Duncan Something I've realized over the past year is that I don't always want to be out in the world, but I want it to exist.

I think I don't understand that other people phrase things without certain context to "be polite." I thought people just say what they are feeling/thinking so that other people understand? But they don't. But to me I feel like I'm not "explaining everything" or I'm lying.

It actually shows me how I've been treated more than anything else, because I have always had to explain the context and my feelings and reasons for other people to understand me. It felt like they were -owed- that because otherwise there would be negative consequences.

Now people are saying "you don't owe people reasons, just request X" and that's nearly unfathomable to me. Because I can't imagine that -actually working- because it never has. Isn't that absurdly messed up? #AutismAcceptanceMonth

I always had to have an excuse for something I didn't want to do. I had to explain. I had to have a "good reason." I couldn't not hug my relatives or not go to an event. I became good at explaining reasons why that weren't based in emotion because they wouldn't listen to emotion

Saying "I don't feel like doing that" or "I don't want to" was never respected. It had to be followed up with a "real reason." This teaches children that their feelings and boundaries aren't important. And it also makes them overexplainers due to anxiety of not being respected.

And for me, that means adding way more context when requesting things of other people than is needed for what I'm asking. Because in theory the ask is simple, but it never really feels simple, because it's never actually been simple -for me.-

Most people: *Emails something short for a quick request* Me: So [X topic] made me feel this way, and so here was my reasoning, and so then I did this for that reason, so that's why maybe I need this, do you mind? [then asks actual request]

Me with a really strong internal opinion: *speaks calmly with a lot of maybes and "I thinks" & allistics don't think it matters* Me with a not as important opinion: *perceived as aggressive and allistics think I'm super passionate about it and think it's really important to me*

Some personal news, as they say. latimes.com/california/sto…

This Muppet Show is also the FIRST: A) time I gargled Gershwin B) time I worked with my cousin Luke Skywalker C) & last time I appeared on "Pigs In Space" D) time I exposed my inner-geek on national television E) ALL OF THE ABOVE

This popped up in my feed again from a year ago. It still applies.

"...I wonder a lot about the kinds of things we could accomplish if so many of us didn’t have to fight so hard just to get through every day or every week." - Emily Paige Ballou on a better future for autistic people steeped in justice and liberation disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2021/05/12/int…

Richard and Mildred Loving's marriage was deemed illegal because she was Black and Native American and he was white. Their case went all the way to the Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the couple won. "Loving Day" celebrates the historic ruling. trib.al/DyMO66L

Call out: I'm wondering if someone might be interested in acting as a mentor to a neurodivergent masters student? I am working and researching in the area of accessibility and inclusive design. I am facing some challenges with the conventions in academia. #NonLinearThinker

Autistic burnout - nytimes.com/2021/09/03/wel…

What if we channeled the energy we spent worrying about what will happen to us into making sure that it doesn't happen to someone else?