How many UN delegates does it take to solve the crisis in the Middle East? One. Provided it's Lashwin Raj. #laughwinraj

Raight charps, I've hard enargh, arnd I'm arbviarsly the barst larking gar in that clarb. #larshwinsmarshwingarshwin

At number 1 is Lashwin Raj, and number 2 is Lashwin Raj. At number 3 is Lashwin Raj, and number 4 is Lashwin Raj.

At number 5 is Lashwin Raj, and number 6 is Lashwin Raj. At number 7 is Lashwin Raj, and number 8 is Lashwin Raj.

At number 9 is Lashwin Raj, and number 10 is Lashwin Raj. At number 11 is Lashwin Raj, and on the bench is Lashwin Raj.

I'm not the only one to dream of a team of Lashwin Raj either, ask Katelyn Aitchison, @Hannahwalker_14 and Melanie...

Absolutely inundated with #ValentinesDay cards. Most from women i can't even remember. Too much of a lothario for my own good sometimes.

Special thanks to the mystery "Katelyn" for her 2 dozen roses and string quartet waking me up with Sinead O'Connor-"Nothing compares 2 u"

Can't believe the administrative cock-up that has meant Dewi Roblin is in goal today. Hope it doesn't cost me my 2nd BUCS gold. #farce

Anyway, good luck to MIXI today. Still can't believe the arrogance to play without their best player. Now i know how Kevin Pietersen🦏 feels.

The difference is, the dressing room will be a much unhappier place without Lashwin Raj and his #greatchat. Boring Chris Way doesn't compare.

The dream of a team of Stevie Floyds has, unfortunately for UOBHC, turned into a nightmare.

Had MarchingBandSociety dreamt of a team of Lashwin Raj, MIXI would no doubt still be en route to BUCS gold. #becarefulwhatyouwishfor

So International Hockey Federation have announced matches will now be 60 mins. Good news for Ben Andrew. I heard he didn't last the full 70 last night...

...70 seconds that is.

If only MIXI played like Wockey 3s we might have won something this year. The Seahorse and Ciaran O'Connell in particular to blame.

And I'd know, I got the call-up for the Sri Lanka t20 world cup side. Too busy with my humanitarian work in Nepal though unfortunately...

Let's hope UOBHC Wockey 1s can take a leaf out of Lashwin Raj's book and bring home BUCS gold, and put the ghosts of last year to rest.

Oh, haha, very funny from whoever is behind the Ashwin Raj parody account. Real original.

Chin up @_GBHockey. Can't win them all..