If I built a snowman and put a hat on him and he came to life I would immediately beat him to death with a shovel.

me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory gf: yeah of course me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart gf: I guess so me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault

Don't cut in front of vehicles! This is what can happen when you take away a truck drivers following distance. 6 vehicles involved, #Hwy401 shut down and restricted for hours during clean up and investigation. Vehicle has been identified, investigation ongoing, charges pending.

Ontario residents will need to renew expired driver's licences and health card cp24.com/news/ontario-r…

To clear things up…we pooped ONCE together and we laughed and said never again…but he will hang out with me if I’m 💩ing cuz WE SOULMATES. And i legit miss him when I’m away from him. And we pee together obvi

EA SPORTS SQUID IN THE GAME

who want chocolate muffin

How I’d win squid game

Washrooms across Grand Erie will now include menstrual products free of charge - and free of barriers - thanks to a student-led initiative. More details here: bit.ly/3ntAvrH

Travis Scott encouraged his fans to break past the barricades at his concert and at least 8 people died. This video broke my heart. My love goes out to all of the people effected by this. This didn’t have to happen.

Thank you Our Lady Peace for spending 1.133 minutes with me this year on Spotify. You are my #1. #SpotifyWrapped open.spotify.com/artist/1lqW59D…

Weed? I’ve never smoked that. I pull weeds all the time, cuz they are bad for my garden. Why would I smoked them? Bad idea. Stupid. Sorry I don’t know what I’m saying imm high as shit

If I wrote 8 books about wizards and somehow made a billion dollars, I would just take that money and shut the fuck up for the rest of my life.

Andrew Nadeau when I was 14 someone asked me my name and I said “Todd” and then laughed for three minutes straight because it wasn’t true

i spent last covid winter drawing/animating/writing/and voicing this (along with my pal joe rogan), please check it out

When your in your warm house eating turkey and exchanging gifts over the holidays remember the land defenders are out there on the front lines making sacrifices fighting for your tomorrow ❤️

Timothee Chalamet is just Jared Leto after freshly sucking someone’s blood

If you invested $10,000 in Apple in 1980 you’d have over $262 million today. But you’d also be old af lmao

just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident they put me in the icu

Please contact police at 1-866-549-2090 with any information that you may have in relation to this investigation.