Delete your account

What kind of psychopath exercises in jeans?

Sorry you're clearly too stupid to explain it to.

At a friend's wedding, I saw his brother weep for an hour and a half straight, occasionally turning to his father (who looked like he was going to jump up to the alter and murder the brother) saying "what, what, it's beautiful." I still have no idea what he was on.

I see they reopened Action Park.

This remains the greatest post combo of the summer

Well, troubles continue for New York Senator Alfonse D'Amato. A week after offending many Japanese-Americans with his impression of Judge Lance Ito, the Senator entered a New York hospital, complaining of mild chest pains this week. Attending physician, Doctor Hikuro Akosaki,

Rally the troops

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My "Not starving the people of Gaza" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

I never want to hear the word socialism from a Republican so long as I live.

"It is my Great Honor to report the United States of America now fully owns and controls 25% of Chloe Wagner's lunch money. I Negotiated this Deal with Chloe, a Great American and Highly Respected 3rd Grader. This is a great Deal for America and also a great Deal for Chloe."

If only Trump had been given multiple opportunities, over a long period of time, to return them without incident.

I've unlocked peak suburban dad—I got a Volvo.

We used to be a proper country.

Kevin Baum I’M ON THE HANDS-FREE

Kevin Baum We used to be a society