Listen, just let me make it to happy hour at Arby’s.

Microwave + Free throw Tour is all I ask for.

I just ate a bunch of sour patch kids, happy Halloween

Justifying taking a break from social media, but not Twitter because Twitter is my personal diary.

I have seen fall out boy far too many times in my life. Pls stop going on tour with bands I love.

Lol oh yeah keeping Twitter for tour announcements and my personal hot takes about bands from 2005.

Real W in the chat for @HotMulligan playing Madison Square Garden. Damn, y’all really blew up.

At a music festival and there’s a man shazaming the song the band is playing.

I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again. The corncob tv soundtrack really was the best move for Hot Mulligan’s Career.

*slams two beers* I think I’m in a prison in my own cargo pants… I’m a poser, I don’t even own cargo pants.

Today is the one day of the year where I unapologetically talk about George W Bush for a solid six hours.

when I was 12 I googled “two men kissing” on my dads computer and when he asked me why that was in his search bar I said “I don’t know you tell me”

no one bid against me on this

how often does your girlfriend think about the Soviet Union

Oooof

Would have been more realistic if Barbie said “you guys ever think about just giving up and rotting?”

Two conversations, one morning. I am insane.

Lol may not be able to log into Twitter from new phone