I cannot wait until I can slam a Pipeline Punch Monster again. 🫠

It’s illegal to sell a puppy within 8 weeks of birth because it’s deemed cruel to separate it from its mother but corporate America expects women to return to work 4 weeks after giving birth.

I told Trace I could feel flutters. He said “oh let me let me!!!” Had to tell him she couldnt be felt from the outside yet. I can’t wait until he can because he will be so excited 🥹

I got to marry my best friend and it pretty much feels like a fever dream still.

In a really funny stage where I cannot possibly assume what people are congratulating me for. Graduating, wedding, baby, promotion? No clue. I’ve assumed twice and been wrong. 😅😂

I’ve never been so violently aware of my bladder in my whole life. She uses it like a personal trampoline park. I thought pregnant people were just dramatic about how dire the situation was when they needed to pee. They were not.

tell me you have a green flag husband without telling me.

Idk what’s worse. The all-day sickness I had until 14 weeks… or this acid reflux. Literal fire sitting in my esophagus 24/7. I have done literally every single thing suggested to ease the reflux with no relief. My dr called in a script tho so hopefully that’ll help😅

Pregnancy is so fun funky fresh. I just projectile v*mited out of my frikin nose from acid reflux. I’m legit maxed out on OTC reflux meds & prescription meds. 🫠🥲

pregnancy is the most effed up thing I’ve ever been a part of. 0 things have gone as it should. I have not known an ounce of peace in 6 months. “Oh when she’s here you’ll be stressed then too,” yea but probably not stressed that she’s dying 24/7.

the funny thing about pregnancy is, when you get rid of one ailment, you get another. pregnancy insomnia + hip & leg cramps all night are miserable and I think I slept for 7 minutes.

people are trying to make me bad about saying that we might not have hospital visitors the first day we’re meeting her for the first time, too. also, if she goes to nicu no one can come anyway. suck my nuts. I don’t think I’m telling anyone when we’re in labor.

hello, look what I made! also, look at the improvement🥹 we’re currently 3lb11oz of sweetness.

We are sooo close to busting out of the nicu. I’m not going to get my hopes up but I’m literally crossing all fingers and toes that when I walk in they’re like “surprise!!! She did it!!!”🥹

listen… the newborn stage is rough. but we’ve spent more time belly laughing about burps & farts than I care to admit. also, she’s gorgeous in every way but her hair is the bestttt, so fluffy and soft.

🤣🤣

The most annoying sensation on my body is that my C-section scar feels itchy but it’s numb ??? How do I scratch the itchhhhhh.

moms, this is your sign! do the things!! 5 months of being a SAHM… I was SO anxious to leave my girl, but my husband is the BEST dad in the world. I was so afraid of criticism, but all I got was praise from total strangers ❤️ I can’t wait to go snuggle my baby tomorrow!!!!

I had an emergency C-section & couldn’t feel anything, but I knew she was out because of the immediate relief on my lungs😂