Lebron beating Golden State in the playoffs and Kevin Love beating the Knicks is cool with me.

My dog keeps eating my ChapSticks so I bought a new 3-pack of them..or what my dog calls a “3-course meal”.

Way too many good shows and festivals in the next few months. I don’t have the money or time so please chill with it.

RIP #JimBrown from #MarsAttacks.

“Indie Sleaze” is probably the coolest music genre.

[PROLONGED FLATULENCE]

.TheOtherTwo is a great show.

Turning 40 is fucking devastating, but at the same time kind of liberating because it’s like starting a new chapter. It just sounds so old and adult though, and I’m still mentally in my late 20’s.

Someone should start doing kid’s haircuts under the name Kid Cutty.

TOMORROW (Tues. 5/30) at @foundrylakewood in Cleveland, OH!

I put the BEAR in Bare Minimum.

NO RULES.

Our next gig! Saturday, July 1st at Westside Bowl in Youngstown, OH!

At my age I follow a lot of Instagram accounts with names like “Millennial Misery”.

#BillMurray is dating #Kelis? He went from Caddy Shack to Shake Shack.

Being a guest on #HotOnes is a dream because I love hot food and talking about myself.

In the future there will be a submarine full of millionares on an expedition to see the sunken submarine full of millionares that was on an expedition to see a sunken ship full of millionares.

Rhythm sections have ruined my life.

I’m opening a wedding dress boutique that also does dog grooming called Bride & Groom.

If you’re one of the people who read my tweets (and for some reason never “like” them) you could follow me over at Threads and do the same weird shit there. I’m donezo.✌️ threads.net/@justinvaughn