My cat just rolled off of his perch and almost fell to the ground and I feel traumatized for him, but also can’t stop laughing. Am I a bad cat mom?

This is maybe my new favorite Twitter account. Worth returning to Twitter for this one.

Multiple people on my bicoastal meeting have reached out via text and email about my cat today. He is hoping to be discovered.

This is a mood.

Not only are there lots of people on the subway not wearing masks, but not even the MTA employees are masking up. SERIOUSLY?!

Look. Facebook can stay down forever, but please give me back my Instagram?

I have a new roommate who moved in last night. She works for Facebook. So we can all assume my cats did it, right?

My parents thought the #browns logo was a rabbit pushing a grocery cart and now I can’t unsee it.

Just another Jew ordering Chinese food on Christmas via Grubhub (Grubhub Care) and my food is 30 minutes late at this point. I called the restaurant 15 minutes ago and they said it’s on its way, but they are 2 blocks away and still nothing…help?

Wait…are we really fat shaming Santa?

She's been waiting all season for this opportunity and it's finally here! ⬇️ 😉 Leah is mic'd up! 🎤 #GoGators

Goodness I miss so much Gator news by not being on the tweet tweet. Maybe I shall return? (Because I need another time waster?)