Harry’s line:

When they do the onion volcano tower at Hibachi

Spin zone: fruit on the bottom yogurt only exists because big yogurt is too lazy to pre mix it

Heat wave with 80% humidity this week 😪

Beer is narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams

throwing my boy a sun king cream ale across the living room

Me when I get a table at cactus:

Dudes will go into a bathroom stall just to pee. What’s up with that?

Therapist: Purduebu isn't real, it can't hurt you Purduebu:

Cool! Love it so much!

Yea I invented teleportation last night (drunkenly fell asleep in the uber and woke up at home)

Jack from the back Fuck pulp

what the fuck is a saluki

MNF double header is terrible. I’m either gonna stay up to watch a garbage game or fall asleep before an instant classic. No more please

Igor Shesterkin's set for #NYR's centennial season 📸 Brians Custom Sports

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

Any ball knowers? pic.x.com/Bdn2aD4uqQ

If you send this kid down I will be livid

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