My 9 year old who is doing remote learning just printed this out & I don’t know why

Terrible night for the scared-of-basements community

Never check your work email on a day off

I’m not afraid to double text, I grew up signing out and signing back in to get my crush to notice me if they were online

Tuning into Olympics coverage takes me from “who is Hashimoto?” to, three minutes later: “wow, this really isn’t like Hashimoto.”

(Catching up to a guy in the grocery store) I got milk before I knew you had already gotten some. I wasn’t copying you

If the founding fathers were alive today they’d be like “what’s a poke bowl?????” they wouldn’t give a shit about any of us

If the first thing you say about trans people is about bathrooms or sports & not about how to make the world safer for these beautiful children of God, you need real help.

"Hey try this IPA, I think you'll really lik--" Me:

the minions are mischievous but they never let it get in the way of the job

you incorporate what you miss about them into the new life you must live without them, in this way they remain with you

My mom had 3 miscarriages in our very Republican Louisiana town in the late 1980s. We’ve never discussed two of them until now. She told me she wants to talk publicly about the D&Es she had, because women are struggling to access them under the state’s total abortion ban.

Oh gosh. A really amazing write up about my new book in Better Magazine. Can’t ask for nicer words than “this book will make you laugh.” better.net/life/education…

(interrupting) and therein lies the question.. (goes back to my phone)

Love next door

One book order = one pat on the head

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train