In your personal life it’s best to own up to your mistakes. It helps build trust — mature adult behavior. In the corporate world you should do the complete opposite. NEVER take responsibility, argue why it’s not your fault, blame organizational inefficiency.

In my Riff Laboratory concocting a new bit

Writing my first article for the Babylon Bee about Woke Spongebob

me: Wrong again. Mrs. puff does not appear until season 1, episode 4 “Boating School.” Starting to think you’re not a real Spongehead… Hinge date: they said ur card was declined

Competitive speedrunning for corporate training modules

“We are truly a cross-functional team!”

A24 horror movie about a cult that worships Santa Claus

My GOAT transcended pleasures of the flesh to focus on BALL. Much like Buddhist monk. Respect.

Why does this guy look like gigachad Biden

Please bro, your organization requires an update & restart, just one more update bro.

Obama: “Let me be clear. My pussy pink, my bootyhole brown.”

Had a dream last night, something about “the Chad Goosebumps Enjoyer”… will update once I’ve gathered more info

Fatt Damon

Now, more than ever, it will be useful to know obscure or archaic vocab words. Sprinkle one of those in (tastefully), and you’ll beat the GPT charges every time.

COZY West Village loft, 0.5 bathrooms, great location! $2200/month, utilities not included