Shit InfoSec Says: You must have non-alphanumeric characters in your password. Maximum length is 32 characters. Users: OK we'll use password managers to generate random 32-character passwords with symbols. passwordistoostrong: Unsupported non-alphanumeric character or symbol. Users: Wot

Ain't no party like a CI/CD party cuz a CI/CD party automatically deploys to prod

I don't have an issue with this software if you're making Gantt charts of how you plan to execute a dinner party or something completely unrelated to work, however it absolutely cannot be used with any company data until a formal review has been completed.

Audit finding: Vulnerability scan results reveal host and domain names Remediation: Redact or obfuscate identifiable information in vulnerability reports Management response: We need that information to know where we need to patch, won't fix

Tech needed onsite to update connection settings, but delaying due to flooding. De-escalating ticket priority as the client is not blocked by outage, because they have been evacuated.

This latency is unbearable. We need a faster speed of light.

Break-glass admin accounts are just backdoors that have been documented, change my mind.

How do I setup the ACL on this router?

Vendor: “The mechanism is secure because the upgrade server doesn’t have an IP address. Just a domain name” 🙈 Shit InfoSec Says

Team: I have updated the incident response plan. Effective immediately, the emergency assembly location is now the pub down the street.

i hate how everyone keeps asking for things on tickets. i feel like we have enough things.

Five years and ISACA still refuses to award me any CPEs for running this account. #MyTwitterAnniversary

"It will be totally airgapped, but we'll still need to have some holes poked."

Parallel universes are not a security boundary

Assessing supply chain security risk like

"Certain types of badge must be held closer to the reader, due to the layers of advanced encryption."

#log4j

Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.