Rebecca: I prevented a murder today. Ted: Really? How’d you do that? Rebecca: Self control. Ted: … Ted: I think you’re swell.

Ted: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Rebecca, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Ted: … Ted: fsh

Keeley: *sees Ted and Rebecca together* Higgins: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Keeley: You mean... you ship them?

Keeley: I like your top, Ted! Rebecca: I have a name, you know. Ted: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

Rebecca: It’s dark in here Ted: Don’t worry, Boss, I got this! Rebecca: Don’t… Ted: *Stomps his feet* Ted: *Sneakers light up* Rebecca: [sighs]

Keeley: What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever done? Rebecca: Ted. Keeley: What? Rebecca: What? Rebecca: … Rebecca: So… apparently I have something I forgot to tell you?

Ted: A theif. Rebecca: Thief? Ted: Theif. Rebecca: I before E, except after C. Ted: Thceif. Rebecca: No.

Rebecca: So, Ted and I — Keeley: Are getting married?! Rebecca: No, we — Keeley, pulling out a binder: Oi! Sit down, I’ve planned out the entire thing.

Rebecca: Well, in a world without me — Ted: No. Rebecca: [sighs] Ted, this is only hypothetically speaking. Ted: Boss, hypothetically speaking, no.

Rebecca: Hello. Two tickets for Oppenh- Ted: [pouting] Rebecca: No. Ted: [pouting with puppy dog eyes] Rebecca: [sighs] Rebecca: Two tickets for Barbie, please. Ted: Yay!

Ted: Rebecca and I have something to tell you. Rebecca: [nervously] Ted and I… we’re dating. Keeley: … Beard: … Roy: … Ted: … Rebecca: … Keeley: Sorry, babes, We forgot to act surprised. Do it again!

Rebecca: [speaking to the team] …. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Ted: [raises his hand] Rebecca: Yes, Ted? Ted: Boss, If a bear and a shark had a fight who would win? Rebecca: …. Rebecca: [sighs]

#tedlasso