A burlington face and a jersey mind

"crunching on a pork rind when she pulled up" got to be top 5 most evocative lines ever sang open.spotify.com/track/7GQjJEwq…

Personally, i can respect it, but i do not appreciate when the beautiful arts of stop motion or claymation are used for evil like a horror movie such as this

Got so scared running into my roommate in the kitchen. She’s a nice girl, just wondering why the hell she’d be there..

Now, mint jelly..how do they do that ?

The older gentleman who i sold my prized possession to assumed i was 22. I’m on a high. He did assume i was military…..but coast guard, so that was ideal for that…

Meet Mohammad Salman Hamdani, a 23-year-old Pakistani American EMT from Queens. On this day 23 years ago, he dropped everything to reach the WTC to save lives, dying in the process. He was then reported missing. The Feds raided his home. They thought he perpetrated the attacks.

Haven’t been as funny and charming as i usually am for like the last 36 hours. I’m worried. I think i lost my swag..

If a hot and hip rich looking person ignores my sweet and kind plea of “excuse me” on the street, something changes in me and it like i’ve taken steroids

I think what they get wrong on tv shows is that they have real pajamas. The pj situation in real life is not so cut and dry..

Uprooting my life and moving across the country because i really want a peanut buster parfait (with twist) from Dairy Queen

Nothing like choking on hardware store popcorn and almost accidentally crashing your car on san francisco’s golden gate bridge

Wore a cardigan out and got perceived as a straight ginger

This is why i’m leaving san francisco

Anal fissures got bw me and my work crush. It’s over. Neither of us have anal fissures..Someone else’s anal fissures…

Walked out of my job for the last time to a little chorus of “beers for brooke!” And it made me debate changing my life plans….

I only tweet on my friday’s.

I can’t remember my legal address❤️