One fun fact about me is that I’m extremely nosy and I will ask you what you’re standing in line for

Fabulous is the new accidental adjective of Spring 2023.

Living with my parents and exclusively referring to them as the roommates #ArtistInResidency

Overheard my retired dad tell my mom, “I had a really bad dream last night. I had a job again!” And then he shivered. Sir, some of us are still dual screening and crunching numbers. Read the room.

My mom just told my aunt that I have a magical app that can control the music at any bar and restaurant. The app in question? TouchTunes.

Women are often critiqued for enjoying Trader Joe's frozen meals, yet my male coworker's lunch was two RX bars and a Zyn. Given the choice, I'll happily continue with my soup dumplings.

My interests are diverse (I’m on both Zyn Twitter and Pookie tok)

mon-fri is ab getting the metaphorical bread sat/sun is ab getting the literal kind. perhaps a fun pastry of some sort

You’d be surprised what listening to deeper well over and over again and two mimosas can do for morale

Things that are certain in life: Death, taxes, and a man talking loudly about how covid lockdowns impacted him at an airport bar.

Good morning, I am up, and thinking about the role paper straws play in my personal eco-system (not favorable)

Sorry - since when??

Is somebody gonna match my freak (watch me perform surgery on my overpriced candle that isn’t burning correctly)

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Many people consider fish to be the most offensive food item in a shared working space, but they have clearly never sat next to someone in the middle of an apple chomp.

Women only want one thing in life and it makes me sick

Had eight straight hours of back to back zoom calls yesterday - and then went outside for a walk and saw a baby bobcat, a pack of donkeys, and little rabbits, so thank you for that Universe.

You can just do things