My toddler has picked up on my habit of rubbing peoples head to show affection.

Ladies and gentlemen, my toddler has hit they “why?” phase.

My parroting and “why?” questioning child is gone with grandma which means I can curse out loud and not have to immediately think of a rhyming word to cover my ass.

I got a weighted hula hoop because it seemed like a fun way to work in some cardio. I am very bad at cardio and, as it turns out, hula hooping.

Me, apologizing to our overweight dog for putting him on a diet and cutting back on his food. Emberly: why is he on a diet? Me: because he has to lose some weight. E: because he’s dying? M: no, he’s not dying. E: yes he is. 👀

I’m no longer a Helpful Hardware Person.

I did the thing where I didn’t eat enough and now I’m too nauseous to eat.

I’m going to have to start packing lunch.

I am finishing up Week 3 at my new job and have only re-worn 1 pair of shoes.

There are cars out and about that make virtually no noise, but I can’t find a vacuum cleaner that registers at less that 137,000 decibels?

Ran into one of the customers from Old Job today at the pharmacy. He asked “is the store open tomorrow?” And I said “oh I’m actually not there anymore. But yeah they’ll be open.” Tomorrow is Sunday and they are NOT open. Oops.

Not sure if I fed the dogs, thought about feeding the dogs, or if I am remembering that I fed the dogs yesterday. 🙃

I want to do rock tumbling.

Can I read 200 WPM? Yes. Will I? No, because then I’ll miss out on the Oscar worthy performance that my brain puts on.

Netflix must want me to spread my wings and fly because they kicked me off my mom’s account.

Husband and I just set up MiL’s new TV. We use several streaming services. He has 2 or 3 under his email. I’ve got 2 or 3 on mine, and ONE on an email that I didn’t use for any of the other ones. It was chaotic and made me question our sign up choices.

Being in bed is my happy place

Me, to our dog Jumbo: “Jumbo, stop licking! Just because you fought a opossum tonight doesn’t mean you get to clean yourself on the couch!”