What would happen if women ruled the world?

#jaconchalk

Shopped for toy drive. Feelin’ all good leaving the mall. Then there they are. The people who saunter across the crosswalk at the last minute...as sloooooow as they can possibly go...on purpose. Then shoot you a dirty look for good form. From charity to rage in 4.2 blocks.

I mean, is there ever a bad time to watch Animal House? Yes! When I want to binge watch Ozark!

I do love a man bun. I know it’s tired. Is it bc only the hot guys have the balls to try and pull it off? I have yet to encounter an ugly dude with a man bun. Clarification. This does not apply to a manny tail.

Goodbye Nyquil...You know I love you...but I have try and make it without you now.

Tou know you’ve waited too long to do your Christmas dinner shopping when your grocery store suddenly has valet parking.

Um... just realized “It’s Cold Outside” Christmas song is all about a skeezy guy using weather excuse to pressure girl into staying when she clearly doesn’t want to. Wth

Impossible Christmas Cuteness loop on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries! I know, I know, trust me!

The cardboard police are here. We’re going away for a long time.

Is it out of the freaking question for someone to re-use a glass around here?? You need a meal fork AND a salad fork?!? It’s leftovers! Can’t wait til I visit your house.

All the sexy leg workout moves are basically shit I am just never going to do. So there it is.

Actually, it's U.S. Department of Transportation, The FAA ✈️, & NASA —and especially the airlines— who deserve credit for this. But, if you're going to take credit for zero airline deaths in 2017 then you should take responsibility for the tens of thousands of gun deaths, too. #lawsmatter x.com/realdonaldtrum…

Damnit I can’t go to bed without looking at my phone! Even when I am passing out tired. Weak