Happy September

Next order of business for Elon Musk is to lift Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.'s suspension. We've #FreedFred now let's #FreeOrdy!

Prison was rough and I did what I had to do mkay

I’ve been laying down the ground work for the cat round up but radio keeps hiding in the soy beans (really regretting throwing sticks to scare him rn) and Gus is in total hiding. Someone tipped them off

I like Tim well enough and I’ve even grown to like Benny Johnson in the last few years but I’m still willing to sacrifice them if it means we can throw Dave Rubin in a gulag

Bill Murray is just ok

I have decided that I will not be feeding the cats tonight

Both PopeYeetimus and will finchman sent wonderful messages welcoming me, their hero, back to Twitter

I have the most adorable kitten content that I will not be sharing with any of you

What’s the difference between an unlawful arrest and kidnapping?

Now that the election is upon us I’d like to remind everyone exactly how Frank Luntz and other pollsters do their job

I haven’t been called a racist in a long time and I’m not sure what that means

Gen X men pretend to have located the mythical clitoris, shocking new research shows

It’s not real you idiots

The clit is just a pee hole you idiot

I’m the only person on this website that isn’t a full blown degenerate smh

If any bitches want to save humanity my dms are open