Mel Jones is such a dreadful commentator, she uses that eardrum-puncture-worthy “the hundred’s come early!🤓🤓” line over and over whenever anyone plays any kind of shot behind the wicket which, let’s face it, really isn’t that rare anymore

This Indian team can get away with this amount of needle when they have - i don’t know, let’s say proper cricketers like Kohli, Rohit or Bumrah. Getting up in JOE ROOT’s grill of all people when you’re as average as, I don’t know let’s say Siraj Prasidh or Deep is a bit much

Brook is a bozo but also comfortably in the top five best bats in the world currently

Despite his self inflicted bozo gene, the man walks into any side in the world. Extraordinary player

I crave Root centuries like an alcoholic craves the other beers in the fridge. I don’t care how many I’ve had, I physically NEED the next one and become unstable and violent if I don’t get it

I think this might be what’s happened? How have they got a 75 over old ball nipping like this?

I’m not sure 4 more sessions are enough to score 35 runs here

All jokes aside, you can’t actually bat with one hand?

My head currently resembles a white-hot supernova

For some reason going to an airport is like going to an Ana de Armas lookalike competition but you’re not allowed to see any of them ever again in your life

Aeroplane mode used to disable Bluetooth as well. Phone companies changed that when Bluetooth headphones became commonplace. Coincidentally, airlines decided using Bluetooth on a plane wasn’t a big deal

How great would it be if someone like Vaughan - or any high profile member of the English cricket media - just came out and said “I think the Hundred is an abomination and here are all the manifold reasons why”. A guy can dream

Sometimes when I’m having a bad day I remind myself that I’m not James Vince on 55* about to face up to Mitch Starc at the WACA, and then I feel better

We mixed all the leftover drinks from last night and it looks like the Nutshell album cover

The Australian cricket team has ANOTHER Mitch? 😭😭

Tried to pay for a maccies with cash and the woman looked at my fiver like I’d just handed her a live tarantula

Had a nightmare last night that the West Indies bowled us out for 101 and won by an innings at Lord’s. Is there something wrong with me

The man’s an artist