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i have a qruestion. why is my cum red

hurt my neck so bad that i have to support my head with my hand when i take a sip of a Drink. how did i brutally fuck my shit up you ask? sleeping

got like three homies who work at walmart. we don’t know each others names but we’re cool. i would die for them

elvis was spotted traveling through dimensions in tajikistan

claire saffitz is my wife

it’s hot when people can light those little flimsy matches on the first try

judge judy is The diva

being super normal currently

breathe near a facebook post and all of a sudden you’re gettinf a top fan badge

the unfortunate thing is, i think my strategy to doing interviews with guests is just kinda glazing them, as the kids say,

this lady is important to me

my brother just cut off his finger

my job is so... the other day i had to call the guy from The City who drives around a big truck that blows vape smoke to kill the mosquitos

Miami be feeling like sodden and gonnorah