he had to serve cunt first and then show the award x.com/pIayherpiano/s…

Me trying to scare a vegan

Why I thought this was a cat giving a speech and they were listening intently?

I was about to make fun of myself about a presentation I'm being forced to give in a couple of months, and then I saw that my name and face are actually on the site's list of speakers already. It's so irresponsible of them to give haters like me a platform.

Staring at this gorgeous thing for the rest of the weekend

This look is called the ‘Trinity Coat’, named after Trinity from Matrix. It capsules the moment when she fell off the building during the fight shatter glasses in slow motion 🖤

Always a good reminder. A coworker who had cancer was the first person I heard this from and I'm glad to know this now.

When the shit goes down everybody meet up at the library. The MAGAs don't know about that place

“Winter is literally the best season” ok u fucking husky go sit outside then

do kids even get chased by dogs anymore? this generation don’t go thru shit

I'd rather be a fucking cockroach

I was so prepared to have no will whatsoever, and somehow I've had a pretty decent week mood-wise. Of course, that must mean the other shoe is hovering in February

The only thing that's gotten better as I've gotten older is my ability to neglect the darker side of my personality. The dark dark side I don't tell anyone about except in a cryptic tweet every 5 years.

Psychiatrists and therapists won't diagnose me with ADHD but the internet has me pegged-- WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE

this is killing me rn