First contender is the common field mouse. I definitely have the size and reach advantage. But I don’t know how I ever get my hands on this thing. I think it bites me and I die from infection 3 days later. Field Mouse wins.

Day 2 contender is a stomach bug, I know it’s not an animal but it’s currently Fucking My Shit. The bug wins and might actually kill me. Bury me with a coors light.

Day 3: Crow I have the size and reach advantage, However crows are incredibly smart and this crow definitely convinces me to kill myself. Crow wins.

Day 4: Bengal Tiger (In honor of the raiders whooping them today) Tiger has advantage in every aspect however it’s a cat. I sneak some catnip into the octagon. Give it some behind the ear scratches while it eats. Tiger falls asleep and I put it in an arm bar. Mush wins

Day 5, Honey Badger. To put it plain and simple…Honey Badgers have fucking grit. It’s basically the same thing as boxing Rocky Balboa. This badger tears my limbs off and dips its hairy nuts in my dead face. A disrespectful death for mush. I never had a prayer.

Might fuck around and get rid of some hexes today.

I’m gonna cum

The greatest comeback in American history.

Friendsgiving? More like I’ll have 11 beers to myself. Thank you very much

Tired of chipotle only hiring cowards.. look me in the eyes when you give me 1/4 scoop of white rice

I love drinking until I can’t feel my legs.

Fuck f45

Break dancing in that pussy tonight

I am my perimeter, and my perimeter is me.

I honestly hate being criticized for being a beauty

When I kick a field goal at college game day tomorrow all my haters gonna be sorry

Mistakes have been made. But the greatest part about a bad night drinking is you can always wake up and blackout again. Cheers.

I am public enemy #1

I’m so fucking back. Mush time

Can I get a cum and roke plz