Whoever invented karaoke should be shot. And while I’m at it, Massive Attack are crap and The Beatles are the most overrated band in the world.

Whenever United struggle, I can’t help but laugh at the thought of the dozens of lads in my year at school back in the day who “supported” them because they won every week and larged it every Monday, who are now trapped in a long-term misery-spiral entirely of their own making.

Sweet find today. Despite the bit of shit below the name, this ball may one day be worth a fortune and I reserve the right to have it autographed. #keepsies

Thanks very mu Grant. I want to say that I was calm and not even a bit nervous, but, we’ll you know. Never won a thing in my life, extremely pleased ! Thanks for the hospitality Mr President Mike O'Brien

Pleasant knock with Chaz and Dec this afternoon Pike Fold Golf Club #campaschristmas #whatsizechestarethempants

Pike Fold Golf Club Fairway Products

Got awarded with my cup for winning The Presidents Prize Pike Fold Golf Club today. Big thank you to Grant Hamerton for making it happen. #topprofessional #topgolfclub

Bruno Fernandes is shameless.

👌👌👌

Locally sourced lamb samba, mushroom rice and a hand poured Argentinian Malbec. Ready for Daz tomorrow. 1140 don’t be late !

Dear Tyrrell Hatton I just put a bit of cash on you for The Open. Please get your shit together. Let’s go. 👊💪

Fantastic day out with Mr Captain first official duties. Tremendous. Here’s to a great year 👍👍

Been with Royal Bank for around 40 years. The treatment I’ve had today is disgusting. Shame on you.

Ha ha, would hilarious if it wasn’t so serious. Royal Bank you really haven’t a clue. NatWest Shame on you

Good morning Mike & the other guys at Royal Bank ‘help’ and NatWest NatWest Group Woke up after a sleepless night due to the sheer incompetence and neglect from RBS, dreading how the rest of the week goes and having my retirement ruined by you. Everyone avoid RBS. SHAME !

No replies ? Oh well, maybe Mike, Nick, Rachel and the rest of the team at Royal Bank got a great nights sleep and a lie in, you know without the stress that I am being put through by Royal Bank NatWest NatWest Group Well done guys 👏👏👏

I’m getting worried now about Mike, Nick and Rachel from Royal Bank No word or replies from them in 48 hours. Despite them understanding (but not caring or doing anything) about my situation, I’m worried about them. As soon as we know they’re ok, everyone avoid RBS !