Tired of telling ppl this scar on my hand is from a wart, gonna start saying I was stabbed with a shush kabob skewer

Some of y’all didn’t have to hold hands with your sibling and sing “Jesus said love everyone” into their eyes when u fought….and it shows

Am I a nerd for driving the speed limit?

I have a rlly hard time when ppl say “apart” when they mean “a part” like PLEASSSEEE it means the opposite of what you mean

Buying a couch. Should I pick the one with:

Thinkin about the time a cop approached me to ask if I was playing Pokémon go

Thinking about these guys taking pics on the first day of school

so true though

String cheese is unapologetically itself

Indiana really said 🌽🌽

me at work: 💻 🙄 📁 😒 📞 😠 me on my diet coke break: 🥳

Cincy’s got that 🌸stench🌸 today❤️🥰💕😇

I just saw a real life rat

Never have I ever spelled ‘weird’ right on the first try

Elon Musk is GREAT! Wait, no, that’s not what I typed. I said, Elon Musk is {GREAT!!} No! That’s not what I’m {GOD BLESS ELON MUSK!}