glastonbury is five days of being like wow interesting flag……. I would under no circumstances want to meet the person who made it

so important to have noise cancelling headphones in the netherlands so u don’t have to hear people speaking in dutch

back with my parents for the first time in six months and my mum has finally stopped buying skimmed milk

just saw while browsing the web on my macbook that there's some kind of tech problem with windows computers..... doesn't affect me because i have a macbook, can anyone who doesn't have a macbook (like i do) explain the situation

there is nothing like being back in the suburbs to remind myself how bad dublin bus is. i should have considered this when i got the literal dublin bus logo tattooed on my body four years ago while living in town

a switch flicked in my brain when i turned 30 and suddenly every item of clothing in marks and spencer’s is the chicest garment i’ve ever seen

fellas watch out if u use the lynx africa dupe from lidl (cien kenya) i took a shower with it and then when i left my house loads of women started barking at me, frothing at the mouth, etc. just feral responses

pretending i don’t care about my baggage so it appears on the conveyer belt faster

roadworks outside the anne frank house..... has she not been through enough

i hate when recipes are like “this uses lots of ingredients you probably have at home already” fuck off you don’t know anything about me or my home

one thing about me is i'm voting in instagram polls.... someone i met ten years ago on erasmus and haven't spoken to since asks yes or no about a new dress she bought? i'm voting. and i'm being Honest

getting into the christmas spirit

australians shouldn’t be allowed to speak english… please leave us in peace

every time i come home my mam has found a new, even more concentrated setting for the shower head. she won’t rest until the water comes out in a single jet that pierces clean through my body

was playing badminton in a sleeveless t shirt and my (dutch) opponent was like wow the tattoos on your arm are so…… sorry i can’t remember the word in english let me look it up……….. uncohesive

i heard a meowing at my kitchen window and i was like oooooh the stray cat i sometimes feed is back for more!! so i went over and yes he was back but this time he brought me something - a not even fully dead pigeon gushing blood

got a haircut and the barber said “your hair looks so good man, did u get a hair transplant?” and i said no and he said “maybe you should consider it”

belgium horrifyingly manages to combine two deeply upsetting elements of public life: hearing people speak dutch and hearing people speak french

everyone loves to say stuff like “be the change you want to see in the world” but it’s a different story when i try to ban people from speaking east asian languages in my gay badminton club