"It's a speed suggestion. I don't like the word limit."

"There are some things you just don't do as a band director, and taking a dead rat out of a trombone is one of them."

"I'm sorry, but is that sound coming from Woodwind Methods or hell?"

"If i told you there was no mayonnaise in Ireland, what would you say to me?"

“The theme of this class is Bearing The Pain.”

"How can my nose run this much?! I know I wouldn't want to run that much!"

“It’s like a barbershop quartet up in here!”

“I honestly don’t remember what the concert order is, so just show up tonight and be surprised”

“I’m addicted to peppermint tea...at least it’s not cocaine!”

“I don’t know what kind of bird sounds like a bass trombone, but I’d want to stay the hell away from it.”

“Wagner? I barely even know her.”

"The lyrics are 'Silent night, holy night', not 'holy s*** the low horns are so loud'.”

"Bach really died at a convenient time.”

“You’re not going to be learning how ultrasounds work in this class.”

"Being a music major is like putting a ball of tin foil in the microwave."

“This chord is like a shark that’s too big.”

“If I die, play a neopolitan for me.”

“I’ve never been this attracted to a Swiss Roll.”

“Those are almonds, not castanets."