u crying over a dude on academic probation

i want to be donna from mamma mia. sexy. ages well. looks good in overalls. escaped all her problems by moving to a greek island. conveys her emotions entirely through song. god what a life

The delivery here makes this even funnier

I just can’t not hear a drunk 21-year-old girl at her sorority formal when I read this

Y’alls president is orange BUT MY COMMONWEALTH IS BLUE!!!!!! THE ONLY STATE IN THE US WITH A WHOLE NIPPLE ON THE FLAG AND Y’ALL THOUGHT Y’ALL HAD A CHANCE?? PATHETIC! PATHETIC!! I LAUGH!!! I LAUGH!!!! I’D SING THE STATE SONG IF IT WASN’T WILDLY RACIST!! TOBACCO FOREVA!!!!!!!!

i adore my coffee guy, i always get a large coffee and at first i’d walk in and he’d be like ‘large coffee right?’ but now he just does finger guns at me and goes ‘LARGE!!!’ and i‘d be lying if i said that wasn’t the best part of my day

as the decade is about to end, let’s remember keke palmer explaining Titanic is one of the greatest moments this decade

Seven years ago today, 26 people, so many of them small children, were shot and killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. 7ny.tv/2PzT64p

collecting my thoughts

From the hitmaker who brought you “Jessica, Only Child, Illinois, Chicago” (if you know, you know)

Tom Steyer’s wife must have some black friends in her soulcycle class or something because she’s dropping it like it’s AT LEAST moderately warm

imagine serving at this level. Ever.

actually survivor is better than this

ppl are like “the president said WHAT” it’s like ok go off w the capacity to still be surprised

High Seas / Alta Mar season 3 was the biggest disappointment of my life :( Netflix

This debate feels like watching Uncut Gems

Who do you think you are I am