I was undressing in the locker room in an onsen up a hill somewhere in Shizuoka when I heard a phone camera shutter behind me. I spun around, thinking I was getting perved on, but it was just a large man taking a shirtless belly selfie. His back to me, I peered at his screen

It's unnerving how 4o's meatpuppets talk exactly like it.

my theory on Trump's sudden burst of pardons is that everyone around him is worried about what might be in the Epstein files or that Trump might die soon, so they're using him as a sin eater while they still can.

would have been nice to know you’re looking for a monogamish wife on date 4 instead of finding it out through twitter

1. Britney Spears, 'Oops, I Did it Again', 2000 2. Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics, 350 B.C.E 3. Heidegger, Being and Time, 1927 4. Immanuel Kant, Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals, 1785 5. Kasabian, Empire, 2006 6. Venom, Black Metal, 1982 7. Madonna, American Life, 2003

It's a testament to how sluggish Congress is that it was tricked into effectively legalizing weed nationwide in 2018 and it took until 2025 for congress to close the relevant loopholes.

My neighbor's dog escaped so he set a trap for it. So far he's only caught outdoor cats like Saxon here.

1. the moment she saw cut mango at our house she pointed at it and shouted, "MANGO!" so they gave her mango and her face didn't swell up this time. 2. yesterday she asked her parents when she was going to get to see me and my wife again so they're coming over on Friday.

Why artists so often end up communists: 1. They make pure public goods. 2. They only make money due to a legal kluge to fit art into the market. (Copyright) 3. They would do it on their own regardless. 4. The work they do on their own is better than what the market asks them for.

lmao I got locked out of my X account this morning for the exact same reason. there are dozens of us with personal YubiKey's! DOZENS!

Wife: Customer representative 🤖: ... Please press 8... [This had been going on for a while] Me: Give me your phone. [She handed me her phone. I clear my throat] Me: FUCK YOU. HUMAN! 🤖: ... Please wait while I connect you to the next available representative. Wife: what??

I was walking the dog with my wife when our Chinese friends pulled up. They said that I had gotten fat since the wedding, laughed, and drove off. Literal drive-by fat shaming.

this man is making public death threats against the President of the United States Homeland Security FBI U.S. Secret Service

Juniper After intense lobbying, we gave crabs the vote, and Guam (crab inclusive pop. ~11 billion) now individually holds the majority of seats in the House of Representatives. Now humans love to serve powerful crabs! Everyone is running and smiling!

some of you are unfamiliar with the many types of non-monogamy. Mr. Karp is somewhere around here.

he told me he went to rehab and i was trying to guess his substance of choice and was like “meth?” and he goes “no. final fantasy.”

this whole experience has been surreal . i fed this squirrel like four walnuts a month ago and he continues to spend hours menacing me & destroying my screen door. THIS CAN’T BE NORMAL

what did he know

About 40% of the money on Polymarket is sports betting dune.com/queries/591098…

She won of the wackiest special elections I’ve covered. Perennial candidate who kept losing to Alcee Hastings. He ran for reelection while dying of cancer (yes, another one of those) and never really picked a successor. She ran again and beat a guy who claimed that Hastings