server: “HI, my name is-“ me, closing my menu:

Isn’t that the fuckin worst? So self centered

maybe if you had a fucking business that you were passionate about then you would know what it takes to run a fucking business but you DON’T

My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.

*works out once*

I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again", unreal

I'm here to rock this bitch! 🤘🏼

cool things to say to a girl you like: what's up sweet cakes hey hot cakes how's it going pancake ass what are you up to breakfast bitch maple the syrup be with you you like your eggs over medium? hello you hot cake ass son of a bitch ass part of a healthy breakfast ass bitch

One taught me love One taught me patience One taught me pain

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

& truth be told & truth be told I miss you IM LYING

A flow chart from Malden Police to help you decide if you should stay home to help reduce the spread of COVID-19. RT TO SAVE LIVES.

I’m gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! ❤️ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys ⭐️

Racism is a product of ignorance...

We did it, Joe Biden.

#CNNNYE Andy and Anderson hosting this is the greatest thing to happen all of 2021!!

VOTE SAM VP 2016 Samia