Me & my friends will nickname ya ass so fasttt. “Girl why did big jeans just texted me” 😂😂😂

I can’t believe it took them so long to prescribe me this. This is my limitless pill.

I wine drunk bought my dog some ✨accessories✨

The bride I did makeup for today kept telling me how beautiful and happy she feels and now I’m in my car crying

I door dashed pepto bc we’re all sick and this is the mf customer service and urgency that I’m talking about from a delivery driver thank you king

Suck a titty by the ocean

The millennial gays are listening to Olivia Rodrigo chasing the high they originally got from Ashlee Simpson Autobiography.

College kids- I used to work in sales for a big textbook publisher. Email sales and tell them you’re a teacher’s assistant and are requesting a copy of the text. They’ll send you the ebook for free. You’re welcome.

I was 7 when my mom was 25 and I can still feel myself sitting on the bathroom floor, watching her get ready and singing along to this album with stars in my eyes.

It’s me. I’m dumb bitches.

Happy birthday to my favorite hoochie in the game Davein

she’s living my dream

the level of respect that I get from booking men who want a praying hands tattoo because they think I’m a boy

Pack it up boys I found my husband