@markfrav 4 being my 1st follower ill send u a signed autograph of the lads spread the word big vic has arrived

Fred West is one sick bitch

Just had a lovely bowl of Rice Crispies. Now for a swim with the guys, then im going to finish this Greys anatomy box set. Winning?, sure am

in hotel wit Dan 'Shitter then me' Shittu Y dya think wer called the super eagles he asks. Coudnt giv a shit really so got the monopoly out

Vic obinnas just knocked, this could get confusing not only is he a thieving cunt, but he also gets called Big Vic. Better keep a eye on him

BULLSHIT!! already in Jail, & im sure not as big Vic has has pocketed a get out of jail card, better hide my Paco Rabanne, cant have nothin

Any point in playin this with these two gobshites, On a brighter note just had a Txt off David Moyes xxx First name on teamsheet satday woo

Knew we should of played Risk, Dan thinks Luxemberg is in Cumbria id of cleaned up. Batts goin Tweeps think cockhead has robbed the charger

@jwallace38 You think your having a bad day?, Ive just Hoovered up a spider and burst into tears. Im feeling fragile after me injury :(

joe Yobo just turned up at my room with his mate who goes by the name of Happy Benson.Joes brought the DVD,Happys brought the Haribo LIVING!

Arrived back at Everton today, Met Big Denis for the first time, lovely guy he learnt me some spanish. i te aplastará mierda grasa inútil :)

Big Den really like the ladies. He sort of gives them the eyebrows then says cono or joder. Im guessing it means ''Alrite luv''

Met Big Dens interpreter Luis 2day joined them for Tea. Big den waffled on a lot Luis would just turn to me nod and say 'He says joke laugh!

Just arrived home feet up DVD on. hate my groin!!! So unhappy. I wonder if anyone has ever been this unhappy while drinking champagne

@Bilyaletdinov_7 Chin up Bill, Ill take you for a weatherspoons curry thursday x

Its a dark time for me at the moment. Days like this i could do with a cuddle and reassurance of Mikel, I miss his sweet Spanish scent. #sad