The older you get the more deeply you care about the layout of grocery stores

Thumbsucking Pros: 🌙Easy to find & soothing in the dark 🚫No risk of losing or getting dirty 🙅‍♂️No worries about going without & Cons: 🦠Potential exposure to bacteria & germs 🔍Increased risk of ear infections 😓Difficult habit to break 🦷Disruption of permanent teeth dev

My 4yo said it’s ok that her shoes are on the wrong feet because she can just cross her legs to make it right

@AnAppleHat Baby Connect Sooo many times explaining to her I know exactly where the kids are and what they are doing. “I see them with my ears!” #parenting #marriedlife #dadlife

Ways toddlers are like the drunk girl at the bar. They: 1.Speak in high decibel cursive 2.Laugh, cry, laugh, eat snacks, cry 3.Follow you to the bathroom 4.Constantly spill drinks 5.Walk like a giraffe on roller skates 6.Refuse to leave 7.Love you so much

I love how you can make a toddler’s day by gifting them with a grocery store receipt and telling them it’s theirs and they can keep it forever

My brother-in-law, who has no children, asked my husband and I what we do for fun. We looked at each other and laughed and laughed and cried.

8yo: I wanna do something special for you on Father’s Day. me: oh yea? 8yo: yea how about we take you to the water park and then get ice cream after?

All I ask this Father’s Day is that my family join me outside on the lawn to admire the mow lines together

Me: Ahh a whole weekend without kids how refreshing. My brain: Hey, you have 47 hours & 44 minutes until you get back to the monotonous grind of parenting. Me: Haha, very funny brain but seriously we’re going to focus on relaxing. My brain: 47 hours & 43 minutes Me: STOP IT!

Legend states that if you let a 5yo carry a helium-filled balloon out of the store, there is an 84% chance it won’t make it to the car.

For Father’s Day, I let my husband mow the lawn in peace and took the kids to target to spend all our money

People who say actions speak louder than words clearly don’t have kids

Parenting in a nutshell: Getting sick but not realizing you’ve been sick until you suddenly feel better because you’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else.

Daycares Secrets: How They Get Babies to Nap ⬇️ ⏰Routine: Consistency is key! 🌙Sleep-friendly environment: Dim lights, soothing sounds 🤱Swaddling & rocking: Coaxing babies to dreamland 🚦Watch for cues: Spotting signs of sleepiness 🍼Sleep after eating: Full & content=naptime

I’m a mom, my hobbies include: cleaning, asking people to stop making a mess, asking people to help me clean, asking people if they can hear me asking them to stop making messes and help me clean.

*My wife being frustrated by my kids* Wife: Can you just give me 2 seconds to myself? 8YO: 1, 2. Now can I have snack?

If you want to know what it’s like to be a toddler mom, imagine having roommates who cry every time you go to the bathroom unless you let them join you.

4-year-old: *picks up food from her plate with fingers Me: “Use your fork and spoon honey.” 4-year-old: “Okay daddy.” *uses fingers to put food onto fork and spoon Me: 🤦‍♂️

Why newborns may sleep with their mouth opened ⬇️ 1️⃣ Nasal Congestion: Stuffy noses from colds/allergies lead to mouth breathing 2️⃣ Sleep Apnea: Enlarged tonsils/adenoids cause sleep apnea 3️⃣ Deviated Septum: Abnormal nose structure results 4️⃣ Habit Formation: After an illness