After 3 tweetless years. Let’s #Doge yo

BREAKING: Ass Kissing Freelance Creative Team's Quantity Over Quality Strategy Apparently Fucking Working On Creative Director

Family who invaded my cozy nook at the airport. I absolutely hate #McDonalds and I now smell like GMO's

I saw Jerry Rice at the SFO airport. Just a dude.

"Are you a Scientologist?" "What does that mean?" "You know, what Jim Carrey is?"

The people that are upset about the iPhone ditching a headphone plug are the same ones that complained when Netflix stopped delivering DVD's

"People just like shitty food" Lars

Is Donald J. Trump a cornflake or a human?

Email small talk is the worst

People hate bros more than hipsters. 2016

You can polish a turd but it's still a turd #DropOutHillary

Are color jeans out? #NotTrending?

Where's the pie emoji?

#InstagramVixen might exist

My good friend Andrew Bydlon teamed up with Eddie Bauer in New Zealand this past spring. Pro athletes? Beautiful... fb.me/1nUKNoJnA

Yeehaw - Trumps a turd. x.com/AltNatParkSer/…

Now who's drunk? #UnitedStatesOfNorthKorea x.com/AlexHonnold/st…

.Secretary Ryan Zinke protection of public lands is an American issue.

.@usinterior protection of public lands is an American issue.

I spoke up for public lands. Click p2a.co/Xl4RnlC to do the same.