"[The unborn are]... the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe." Here's the original FB post by Dave Barnhart: facebook.com/dave.barnhart/…

the human invited some frens over. and one of them is sitting on the floor. gently rubbing my ears. they refer to me as the squishy wonder. and if my human doesn’t step it up. i’m going home with them

Japan never fails to surprise me. 9gag.com/gag/aEgxVzp?ut…

Hell isnt as hot as you

students in Germany (from what I’m gathering maybe students in all of Germany??) were apparently asked to analyze a column of mine on a big exam and I am getting lots of messages saying either thanks for helping them get an A or ... ruining their lives

Stop doing wife shit for dudes who deserve cold raviolis out of the can