Maybe now #RoyHodgson has left #CrystalPalace he can reform #Supertramp for a comeback tour.

Found Phil Daniels on Twitter. Suppressing the urge to respond to all his tweets with "Parklife!"

I think the narrator in this poem might be a hypocrite.

I thought it would be worth reminding ourselves what qualifies Liz Truss to endorse US Presidential candidates by resharing my unpublished children's book. #LizTruss

"...and we'll call our shop Peace Hospice Shop." "Did you say Pea Sauce Piss Shop?" "That's right: Peace Hospice Shop." "Weird name for a shop."

Before becoming a full time poet, I had a brief stint in academia. I did my PhD in palindromes. They called me Dr Awkward

Visited Swansea recently and saw Oystermouth Castle. Which is a funny name for a castle as I'm pretty sure oysters don't have mouths. I assume it's some sort of joke name, like Chickenteeth Hill, or Cowpenis Bay.

Maybole is a fairly unique town and, unlike many of its neighbours, it has never been successfully taken by military force. Today's poem recounts the history of some of the many failed attempts. #Maybole

Sadly, the only thing that's going to stop these riots is a light drizzle. Their need to demonstrate their patriotism conveniently coincides with some nice weather. As soon as the weather changes for the worse, they'll all sod off home.

I'm not really a sport guy so must have missed the memo when they started giving out Brown medals.

Today's poem recounting selected events from the past week. #UKProtests #UKRiots2024 #UKRiots

"Okay son, you got us. The Tooth Fairy isn't real. It's just a story we tell children to protect you from the real story. "Pull up a chair and I'll tell you about the Gum Goblin..." I'm doubling down as a dad.

A yam. What a yam. And what I am, Is sweet potato.

One of these characters is unfit to run the country. #liztruss

Then they came for Kier Starmer And I did not speak out Because he is the prime minister of a nuclear country and could mobile the SAS And I just write nonsense poems.