A kind review of my wild debut novel is now, much like the novel itself, in print! If this sounds like a book you'll enjoy, head over to adambertocci.com/whiterats to learn how you can buy it and enjoy the top-tier typography and A-minus-level marketing copy.

They would never let this be anything more than a red herring. We’re still at least a decade away from that level of respect for the synth community

When they boot up the government again it should make that cool chime like my Mac does

After I’ve fucked up my back: I’ll never take my back for granted again. Please God. I’ll stretch every morning for the rest of my life The second my back stops hurting: Watch this white boy do a backflip

I'm really worried about this pasta tariff. If there's one thing everyone knows about Italians, it's that we have no idea how to locate or sell goods outside the traditional markets.

I would never use AI to write my—ah, crap

Today is World Kindness Day! Go fuck yourself

Hi 👋 Annoying asshole who sucks here! Get ready for the worst fucking post you've ever read

Give a man a post, and he will cringe for a day. Teach a man to post, and he will *be* cringe for a lifetime.

Take THAT, Facebook-using gun owners who were hoping to date this girl with Kaley Cuoco's face Photoshopped on in a way that didn't understand hairlines

I can still identify the exact shot in Star Wars on the big screen. X-wings were involved. Sadly, I did not become an X-wing pilot.

I was planning out a li'l joke about the Trump / JP Morgan thing with a pic of Jaye P. Morgan but then I Googled her to get the pic and this is how I learned she's still alive. Somehow I respect that too much to crack yuks on the topic

I know times seem hard now. But remember, science and technology are on the march all the time, helping people all around the world come up with new and amazing things that we can't even imagine right now. ("And those things will make our lives better?") No

Throes have to be one of the craziest things to be in something of

Haven't heard anything about crypto in a while. Good, bad or indifferent. That's weird. People used to be real mad about it, or, alternatively, real excited. Maybe they still are and it's just not making it to me any more. I dunno. How's everyone doing tonight

You need to be old-maxxing. Wear a cardigan and flat cap when it's 86º. Feed the ducks in the park. Tell the neighbor kid you got your first job by shaking the boss's hand. Get confused by your new television and type all caps in texts. Die

Hire me for all your screenwriting needs. Sadly, there was no award for Best Rakish Hat. Congrats to the End of Story gang. Adam Mackie @OfficialTracieBennett

It's important to think for yourself. Someone I really look up to told me that, and I took it to heart without question

How… how do you baptize a webpage

Wow, lots of techie glitches online today. YouTube recommendations apparently think it's 2015