Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a spoon: also a problem.

Nothing says “I’m hyped to talk to a customer service agent” like saxophone-forward Euro-House.

Bullet points for my Valentine.

Starting to suspect that the foundation of a happy life is not “maintaining multiple daily app streaks”.

I’d like to see a glacier before they disappear forever, but it feels too on-the-nose to book a flight for that.

I want to meet the psychopath who decided Google Sheets should default to bottom-aligned text, no word wrap. What were you thinking. Ignore the taser, I just want to talk.

Went out for a run yesterday. Passed a sign reading “VOTEZ”. “Weird attempt to appeal to the youth,” I thought. Rounded a corner. Saw more signs. Realised “VOTEZ” was French.

I knew that “venti” means 20, and a Starbucks venti is a 20oz cup. I didn’t know that 20oz is a pint. A pint of coffee is a wholly different framing.

Annoying to wake up with a headache when you went to sleep with one too. A reboot was supposed to fix it.

If I had to design a fake horse magazine, I could not create a more hilarious cover than this real horse magazine.

Free startup idea: Tinder for bird watchers. Hornythologists.

Whenever I see the sweat marks on my yoga mat after exercise, I think of the Turin shroud.

Planning on releasing a six hour seminar series about “You don’t have to read that tab you opened 3 weeks ago. You can just close it.”

You know how they label multipack cans with “not for individual resale”? That’s how I feel about boy band members.

I’m sorry, the Thanksgiving WHAT?

Maybe this is old news to you, but I just learned that Ronald Reagan’s chief of staff was named Donald Regan. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Re…

I thought I was buying myself a new chair, but I was actually buying a new chair for the cat.

Experimenting with smart home stuff. My partner’s Bluetooth toothbrush now logs brushing time automatically. Very convenient; previously I had to sit by the bathroom door with a stopwatch.

I plan to stick around Twitter until it entirely crumbles into the sea, but if you’ve enjoyed me rarely posting on here you might enjoy me rarely posting on Mastodon: mastodon.social/@creature

My advent calendar says “18 days to go” behind the doors and it’s starting to sound like a threat.